The Lady with the Getting Ready Regime

Lot of people from time immemorial have mentioned to me about my vulnerability at getting irritated by things which don’t concern me. About things out of my control or my reign.

I have spent now roughly one and half years spending roughly two hours of every working day traveling to and fro office. So how has it been? Well, not the same every day. There are lot of days when I just open a book and then go off to sleep. Sometimes I keep staring out of the window, thinking of million stray thoughts.

Then there are days, a little rare but here and there they come. One thing grabs my attention and the rest of my ride the more I try to avoid, the more persistently it nags me. The “thing” could be …. Sigh…. Just thinking of it unsettles me. Eiu… well, sometimes a down with cold person. A sneezer. Sometimes a shamelessly relaxed fellow, who would occupy more than his/her share of space, the more I shift to keep some space, the more they would gobble it up. Till date I have never been able to tell them it bothers me. I have rather shifted seats if they are available, otherwise just sit and sulk.

Then there was this super sick day. Oh God. This gentleman just diagonally opposite to me was digging the goldmine of his nose. He did not give up till we reached office some one hour late, and I though looking in some other direction would be aware of the incessant dig, dig, dig. And every now and then out of exasperation I would tun to look in his direction to reassure myself,"now it is stopped, now I can stare ahead" only to repulsed more. Ugh.

And today I took my seat in the bus, next to a lady on the three seater seat, with my bag and hers sitting happily between us. I noticed as I was sitting that she was putting on her socks, those flesh coloured ones . It reminded me of a kid who got out of home in hurry. I smile(inwardly).

Then she starts combing her hair. It was wet. Oh boy she did step out in hurry. I look at the watch. 9 in the morning. Makes sense maybe she didnt want to miss the last bus to office. I open my book and start reading, the bus moves and stops, stops and moves in the heavy traffic. Once in a while I look out taking note of the honking vehicles around me. Look in the direction of the door. See the people streaming into the bus at every stop.

Maybe some five minutes had gone by; I realize she is still combing her hair. And boy I have noticed; now I cannot rest till she closes the activity. And does she go on. I wonder is it therapeutic? Is it soothing cause she doesnt seem to be untangling her hair any more, she just keeps dipping her comb in every now and then, pulls few strands out of the comb, dumps the strands out of the window. And harps on my agony by going on and on. But the moment does arrive when she stops it all, and decides she has plucked enough for the day and keeps the comb in her purse.

Whew ! Look at the watch, the minute hand somewhere between 10 and 15. Peace for the rest of the trip. Nah she takes out a little bottle and starts the deadly application of a body lotion for the next eternity. What was wrong with her. She thought she was sitting in her trailer park for her to get ready for the next shot. She applied the moisturizer in three goes on both her arms, and so slowly as if someone out there with a camera to shoot her. So slowly time stretched, stretched till I felt like reaching out and throwing the bottle out.

And her antics went on at leisure for her, she went on applying the lotion on any goddamn exposed part of her body. It felt more horrible than when people start discussing their very personal problems in the very public buses we have. And she closed her ceremony by putting on gold ornaments (bangles on both wrists, three rings, one chain, a pair of earrings) and every single item was brought out separately and put on.

She took half an hour to do all which can be done in five minutes.

Venture a guess why she did that, i think one of the following:
a) She just came back to civilization from somewhere, and was taking pleasure in every little thing which is a gift of civilization.
b) The kind who have given womankind a bad name. The ones who take hours to get ready.
c) Narcissist.
d) Plain Psycho!