Me- a living embarassment to me.

I have to try, I have to really try. I have a major problem, I always always fall for the guys who act hard-to-get or maybe, I hate to admit are plainly not interested. These would be the guys who I would think of as a part of the crowd, but then something about their seeming disinterestedness would draw me towards them, though I would be telling myself, no no I loathe this guy. Yuck, eiu, I can positively puke at the idea of even looking at him.

And then BOING!!!. Another BOING!!!. “Yes a little more of the doormat treatment, please. Thank you.”, now I am drooling at the idol’s feet. I appall myself. I get pushed more and more to the edge till I find myself hypothesizing and drawing conclusions from even a sneeze. Yeah and in this pathetic stage I find myself again. Sheesh!!! I am living embarrassment to me. You know the best thing right now would be to fall over the edge and then walk on safe grounds again, with a bruised soul, till I rise again to fall 